There I was, sitting in on a leather recliner in my darkened room, staring blankly at the wall-mounted flat screen TV.
As I sat my mind was flooded with images and memories of my past–drunken public spectacles, bouts of mania ending in humiliation, awkward moments in my youth where I was sure everyone was watching, failures, disappointments and falling short of the mark. I despaired.
Then, turning on a dime, my thoughts raced into the future–bills, funding my retirement, the condition of the world for my children and grandchildren, the eventuality of illness and death. I was paralyzed with fear.
A regret-filled past. A fear-filled future.
I switched the TV off. I closed my eyes. I breathed deep. I listened.
At first nothing. $0 I went within and listened. Then the still small voice of the Divine spoke: “I AM.”
I paused. I waited.
The voice continued, “When you live in the past with its mistakes and regrets it can be crippling. I am not there. My name is not ‘I WAS.’
“When you live in the future with its problems and fears, it is hard. I am not there. May name is not ‘I WILL BE.’
“When you live in this very moment it is not very hard. I am there. My name is ‘I AM’.”