Recovery Rules: Walk the Bike, Find Your Freedom
Rules don’t shrink you — they widen the road. Just a kid on her bike. Just a dad jogging next to her, trying to act like he wasn’t dying. “I want to get better at shooting a basketball,” she said. “We play every day in P.E.” She was seven. It was a lazy Saturday in […]
god, meds and recovery
So 12-step recovery suggests I find a God (or god) of my own understanding. That’s a hard enough task for your average alcoholic or addict. But when bipolar mania, coupled with psychosis, once had you convinced that you were God… of rather that more obscure member of the Trinity, the Holy Ghost, that is some […]
Justifiable Anger???
Yes, I know better. But sometimes I make the mistake of watching the news. Though I swore off drinking 11+ years ago, each time I take a broadcast I get served a toxic cocktail—one-part Anger, one-part Hatred, two-parts Outrage and a splash of Victimhood. In no time, I am on an emotional bender. Anger and […]
Failures into Lessons
My last bipolar manic episode was what my 94-year-old mother would call a “doozey.” (Sure, my Facebook analytics tell me my followers skew Millennial. Perhaps I should express myself in emojis and f-bombs. But I am guessing there isn’t a little icon or string of profanity that could properly describe an episode that still has […]
The Power of Silence
Once again I was wrong. Once again it was due to my over-inflated belief that my way is the only way. Once again the error of my way was spoken to my heart in a moment of silence. You can call it God, Universal Power, The Inner Guide, Your Higher Self or whatever you please. […]
Self-Help vs. Selfless-Help: The Key to Sobriety
I did it again. Slick ad on Facebook. A play to my reoccurring feeling of brokenness. A catchy title. Click… PayPal… Click. Three days later it was in my mailbox. Another self-help tome hoping to find a home in my already overcrowded bookshelf. Before it was shelved I read the first four chapters… not bad… […]
Heaven is NOW!
As critical as I can be, I actually have very few beefs with organized religion. Sure there are adherents who commit ridiculous, even horrific acts in the name of brand they follow. But I attribute that that to mankind’s unfortunate propensity to twist the good into the out-and-out bad. Putting the most egregious example of this—terrorism—to […]
The Spirituality of Imperfection
The one question I wish people would ask me is whether I’d prefer my grandchildren to grow up to be baseball players or gymnasts. Unfortunately I am more likely to be asked: “Do you know who peed in the potted plant on my desk last night?” (True story from my drinking days. I will have […]
What Do You Need to be Happy?
Alcoholics and addicts love to talk about being happy, joyous and free. I just sat through a well attended 12-step meeting where this was the topic. The people most inclined to speak on this topic were primarily younger attendees within their first 60 days… “what do they know?” I silently judged before reflecting on how […]
